


Darcy Lewis Grows a Set

by TaraSoleil



Series: Ice Bear Has Many Secrets [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), MCU, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: But her chosen family rocks serious socks, Darcy has crappy relatives, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-06
Updated: 2015-12-06
Packaged: 2018-05-05 06:56:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5365637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaraSoleil/pseuds/TaraSoleil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy has been talked into a 'traditional' wedding to make up for that rather untraditional start to her relationship with Steve. Planning is not going well thanks to her cousin, Miriam. Luckily, Bucky is willing to help... for a fee.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Darcy Lewis Grows a Set

**Author's Note:**

> AnnieMar asked, so I shall tell everyone. YES! I have a (neglected) tumblr: iamtarasoleil.tumblr.com  
> It really is shamefully unused.  
> (sorry for lack of clickable link. AO3 is being weird about them today)

“I am your cousin.” 

It took every ounce of Darcy’s waning will power not to roll her eyes as the woman opposite repeated that same sentence for what had to be the eightieth time.  

“That’s all I’m saying,” Miriam said as if it was her final word, but after a beat she was talking again. “I mean we’re family. We’ve known each other our whole life. Shared birthday parties since day one. We have a bond. That’s all I’m saying.” Again it seemed as if she might finally have said her fill, but once again, after a pause to take a sip of coffee and give Darcy time enough to acquiesce (which she absolutely didn’t), she sucked in a breath to begin again. “I—“ 

Darcy cut her off before she could say more. “I’ve chosen Jane. My wedding. My choice.” 

“But I am your cousin.  _Cousin_. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?” 

“It means plenty,” she sighed. “But I’m still picking Jane.” 

“Well, fine,” the woman huffed, folding her arms across her chest and turning her face haughtily away. “We’ll see how well that goes over with the rest of the family.” 

Darcy scowled into her decaf coffee, cursing Steve for insisting they have a proper wedding. She wanted Thor to perform some sort of private and quirky Asgardian bonding in the ornamental garden on the terrace of Avengers Tower, but, no, the man was a stickler for doing things the ‘right way’. She knew he was trying to make up for their relationship beginning so unconventionally, and it was sweet. But not when it meant dealing with Miriam. She loved the woman. She did. It’s just that Miriam was everything Darcy wasn’t – tall, blond, pretentious and a little too accustomed to getting her way.  

“You know what?” Darcy said, watching the woman’s mouth curl up into a smug smile.  

“What?” she said sweetly, clearly under the impression that Darcy was about to cave as she always used to under her relentless onslaught.  

That might have been Darcy’s former reaction, but since the last time she dealt with Miriam she had faced considerably more intimidating opponents. A stuck-up stick of a relative was nothing to a Dark Elf or the Destroyer. 

“The rest of the family can suck it. This is my wedding, not theirs.” 

Miriam’s face dropped. “Well, I—Horrible thing to—you wait till I tell—“ She continued to stammer as she stood and spun into a wall of muscular chest.  

“Ice Bear!” Darcy cried and gave him a happy wave.  

The man’s face remained empty as he looked between the two women. “Ice Bear thinks there’s a problem.” 

“Nope, no problem. Miriam was just leaving in one of her huffs,” Darcy insisted. “Sit, have a coffee. Have you gotten your tux?” 

“It makes Ice Bear look like a penguin.” 

“A frighteningly sexy penguin,” Darcy corrected. 

“Ice Bear cannot dispute your claim.” 

“I’m sorry. Tux? You know this guy?” Miriam demanded.  

Darcy gestured between them as she offered an introduction. “Miriam, this is Ice Bear. He’s Steve’s best friend. Ice Bear, this is my cousin Miriam, who I love dearly but am currently tired of listening to.” 

“Uh… Nice to meet you?” 

“Ice Bear is sure he will grow on you.” He offered the woman a nod before stepping around her and dropping into the seat that afforded him the most defensible spot at the table. She had noticed that, despite being de-programmed and clearly a smartass, he still had some assassin habits that couldn’t be broken; he refused to eat food he didn’t prepare himself, unsure who might have touched it, and, when out in public, he never sat with his back to a room or window. This time was no different.  

Miriam stood a moment, eyeing the man. Her trepidation eased as he settled into the chair. Darcy had known her long enough to know that the look on her face was one of plotting. “Well, I’m going to go. I will see you later for the fittings.” 

“You’re okay not being my maid of honor?” Darcy questioned.  

“It’s your big day. Not mine,” she said far too considerately before turning with a whip of her long blond hair and strolling from the café.  

“Ice Bear feels as if Ice Bear was just mentally undressed.” 

“That’s because you were,” Darcy snorted. “She’s totally got designs on taking Ice Bear to bed. No other reason she would allow herself to be passed over for anything that has ‘honor’ in the title.” 

Bucky looked her way, Ice Bear melting to reveal the man behind the character. “A little competitive?” 

“Try a lot.” 

“Don’t see how she can compete with marrying a national monument and working for one of the most well-known education non-profits in the city,” he reasoned as he swiped her coffee cup and stole a sip, cringing at the sugary concoction. “What is this?” 

“The best I can manage when denied caffeine,” she countered and took back her mug. “Steve’s right, you have serious boundary issues. Not yours. Don’t touch.” 

“Can I touch the belly?” 

“There’s nothing to touch. I’m barely showing,” she insisted, still annoyed that her favorite jeans didn’t fit when she tried to put them on that morning. It had pretty much set the tone for her meeting with Miriam.  

Unfazed by her protest, he repeated, “Can I touch the belly?”  

“Not in public. You shouldn’t even be talking to me in public,” she reminded him. “At least not normally. You never know who might be listening.” 

“I seriously doubt Stark or HYDRA have bugged the place.” Even as he said it his face darkened and his eyes swept across the tiny, hipster joint.  Whatever he saw seemed to alleviate any suspicions he might have formed as the tightness around his mouth and eyes fell away.  

“Ice Bear still thinks you have a point,” he told her in a dull monotone. He fell silent, leaving Darcy to finish her drink in peace, something she had been getting very little of lately. 

She had never thought of herself as a particularly important figure in the Avengers Initiative. It wasn’t low self-esteem or selling herself short; she just knew that there were others who brought far more to the table. When news broke of her engagement to Steve, however, people she never thought knew her name were sending her texts, cards and phone calls. Seriously important and headline-worthy people were congratulating her, inviting her to parties and quiet dinners. She wasn’t just that weird, loud-mouth former-assistant anymore; she was officially someone important and soon-to-be-headline-worthy.  

Darcy was in awe of what her life had become, and all because she was the only single woman available to sleep with Steve at stupid o’clock in the morning all those weeks ago. The ability to sit in silence was a rare gift, one she enjoyed for the another hour before her phone rang with what Jane made out as a major crisis.  

“Darcy, this is the single most horrifying thing I have seen since watching my boyfriend pummeled by a metal monster,” Jane all but shouted into the phone.  

“What is it?” 

“The dresses!" she hissed.

She sighed and shoved herself up to her feet. “I’m on my way.” 

“What? No! I can handle this,” Jane insisted. “I can… just tell me how…” 

As much as she loved Jane and hated the idea of giving Miriam the satisfaction, Darcy took a moment to reconsider what she had told her cousin. Jane, while brilliant and fabulous in many ways, was not necessarily equipped with the all the appropriate feminine skills to coordinate as many bridesmaids as Steve had thought she needed. Miriam really would have been the better choice.  

“I’m on my way,” she said with finality, refusing to see that smug smile at her wedding. “Ice Bear, I have to go see a girl about a dress.” 

He stood, somehow seeming taller when in the cold, humorless persona. “Ice Bear will follow.” 

She had learned not to argue, and just shrugged.

The taxi ride back to Avengers Tower was no more awkward than sitting by him the café. A companionable silence reigned between them, which was fine by her, though she could see his hand creeping toward her stomach. She slapped it away.  

“Ice Bear does not appreciate Darcy’s hording of the belly.” 

“Ice Bear can’t always get what Ice Bear wants,” she retorted.  

The barest hint of a smirk lit at the corner of his mouth as he replied, “Ice Bear finds that if Ice Bear tries somethings Ice Bear gets what Ice Bear needs.” 

“Smart ass.” 

“Darcy loves Ice Bear.” 

She wasn’t about to admit how right he was, so she just turned her face to the window and watched New York fly past the window as they made uncannily good time to the boutique bridal shop the wedding planner had recommended. It was a tiny little shop stuffed to capacity with snow-white dresses hanging in alcoves painted an equally pure shade. To Darcy, it was too sterile, but it was suggested by an expert.  

“Ice Bear has gone snow blind,” Bucky complained as he blinked owlishly.  

“Ironic, wouldn’t you say?” she snorted, grinning at him from behind her sunglasses. 

“Darcy could have warned Ice Bear.” 

“Coulda.” 

She was saved his chilly reply by an oncoming wave of chartreuse satin.  

“God of Thunder, what is that?!” Darcy cried, feeling her morning sickness returning just looking at the horrifying color.  

“They said I ordered it, but I didn’t,” Jane insisted, looking equally as sick. Each of her bridesmaids looked as if they were fighting a wave of nausea. All but one. Miriam might not have been flattered by the color, but she looked as smug as ever.  

“I told you I should have handled it,” she said before Darcy would even say a word. “Tell you what, I’ll save the day and then you can name me maid of honor. It’s only right.” 

Despite her earlier reconsideration, the quickness of her cousin’s offer gave the woman pause. Miriam never gave up the opportunity to luxuriate in other people’s poor choices, especially when the alternative option had been listening to her; she would happily have suffered a day in the nauseating color if it meant being able to gloat at every family gathering until they were eighty and deaf about how  _she_  wouldn’t have made such a rookie error. There is no way she would help save Darcy’s wedding or Jane’s ass.  

“Ice Bear suspects sabotage,” the man muttered so only Darcy could hear.  

“Ice Bear was reading my thoughts again,” Darcy said.  

“Ice Bear will fix Darcy’s problem,” he said.  

“No, Ice Bear, it’s fine. You don’t have to put yourself in the middle of this.” 

With his back to the other women, none but Darcy would see the tilt of his mouth, a boyish smile that only two people knew existed anymore. “Ice Bear is not being altruistic. Ice Bear will be compensated for his efforts.” 

She narrowed his eyes at him and wondered what it was the man would want for saving her wedding. When his hand twitched ever so slightly at his side, she knew what he was after. “Fine. Go be my hero.” 

He spun and stalked past the sickening line of green toward the tiny office. Darcy was curious how he would go about squeezing the pompous owner for details but decided plausible deniability was probably the smarter path when it came to Ice Bear’s many secrets. After he disappeared from sight, Jane began again to insist she had done everything exactly as Darcy had said, using the special codes the shop used for design and color. Darcy knew this to be true because Jane had practically squealed with delight when she was able to use something resembling a formula to arrange for each dress. 

“Will you stop trying to cover your ass?” Miriam scoffed. “You messed up. Accept it.” 

“I did not. I have a copy of the order form on my laptop.” 

“I'm so sure,” she replied with a belittling eye roll before turning her sights on Darcy. “You screwed up letting her do this. And now instead of letting someone more capable handle it, you send that weirdo?” 

The woman was saved the pain of the angry retort Darcy was about to let fly by the sounds of sobbing coming from the open door to the office. Bucky stalked from the room, a folder in hand.  

He paused by Miriam’s side, offering her the closest thing to a glare he could while in his current guise. “Ice Bear knows.” 

She offered a disbelieving snort. “What could you possibly know?” 

From the file, he took what looked like a printed copy of an email. Miriam made a grab at it, but Bucky was too fast for her and had already handed it to Darcy.  

"‘Mrs. Bloomquist, Here is the second dress order for the Lewis-Rogers wedding. As per our previous discussion, these are to be presented to the bride first. Yours, L. Lewis’,” Darcy read, her eyes filling with tears that she would later blame on pregnancy hormones. She knew Miriam was highly competitive by nature but never imagined she would go so far as ordering four extra (and wicked expensive) dresses just to make someone else look bad. It hurt more that she was family.

Bucky placed a hand on her shoulder, but it was Jane who came to her defense. The tiny scientist turned on the treacherous blond. “You do realize I can send you into the darkest reaches of space. You'll asphyxiate and explode inside sixty seconds and no one would miss you.” 

Cindy and Margery from R&D stepped up to stand beside her. “Combined, we know eighty-three ways to make an untraceable bomb no bigger than a pen.” 

It was Lucy, the demure accountant from Science! For All, who had the most terrifying skill set of them all. “I can delete every penny from your bank accounts with a single phone call.” 

“Are you just going to let them threaten me?” Miriam shrieked.  

Somehow Darcy knew she was not sending her shrill plea her way but toward Bucky. 

“Ice Bear know one hundred and thirty-seven ways to kill a human without leaving any physical evidence. Ice Bear would never be convicted.” 

“Are your old-timey sensibilities allowed to say such things to a women?” Darcy inquired.  

“Ice Bear’s chivalry does not extend to duplicitous snakes.” 

“Fair enough,” she agreed. “Miriam, you are fired.” 

The irate woman stomped closer, shoving the wall of chartreuse aside and attempting the same with Bucky. When her efforts failed, she crossed her arms alongside him, anger contorting her face into a hideous grimace. “Well, you just wait till I tell the rest of the family about this!” 

“I have family enough right here. So you and the rest of your pretentious ilk can fuck off,” Darcy replied. “Ice Bear, tell Steve I’m taking over the wedding planning from here on out. We are doing this shit my way.” 

“Ice Bear wondered when Darcy would find her metaphorical balls.” 

“Consider them found.”

**Author's Note:**

> You people have ruined me. I'm writing about weddings now. WEDDINGS!!! When did this happen?!
> 
> Freak out over.
> 
> I tried not to make Miriam a caricature, but I fear she might have come across as such. Sadly, I've known women like her, though, so I feel justified in ever bit of conniving bitchiness I put into her character. Did I over do?


End file.
